I would have to agree, yes, a tribal affiliation would be important in order to have a Native American wedding. Each tribe has their own tradtional ways but to incorporate the old ways with the contemporary ways is quite awsome (to some degree). I hope Native American Women will add their own ideas in their wedding if it is their desire.
It is always best to find out what tribal affiliation you are with and then speak to an elder of that tribe (can be done by contacting the reservation agency for cultural teachers), or by visiting a pow-wow dance competition where many elders come from all over the U.S. To meet. There you can gather ideas as well as learn a few dos and don'ts of native tradition. If an elder chooses to help you then remember this:Always be respectful and be willing to help out if they ask you to in the process. Remember, they don't have to help you if they don't feel like it! JUst because you may be from their tribe, doesn't make you less annoying if you are disrespectful and inconsiderate. You also might consider bringing a small gift to the elder if they do decide to help you.
(most will accept tobacco, for their own ceremonies, and meat or a blanket).
YOu might want to consider having a drum group present at your ceremony. Most charge a small fee ( a fee that can be split between the drum members that make it worth their travel and lodge expenses). It is worth having there, and adds a special blessing to the ceremony. It is also fun to have them sing round-dance songs and Owl dances for the reception. If you don't know how to set this up, the drug group will teach the guests how to dance, and some will even let members lead the guests so that they can learn.
YOu may also want to have a "give-away" ceremony. This is where the bride and groom have hundreds of small items that they have either purchased or made for their guests. This is all laid out on a Pendleton blanket and is distributed so that no one present leaves empty handed. Special gifts are made or given for special honored guests such as elders, Drum groups or singers. After all of the gifts are distributed the blanket is then given to the medicine man or woman who performed the ceremony.
Also, you might want to consider having traditional foods present at your feast. Depending on your tribal affiliation or area of ceremony it can be anything that provided sustanance for your people throughout history, such as Salmon, Elk, Venison, Buffalo, Camas, Bannock, Bitterroot, Huckleberries, and even Eel and Fried bread. This can mean the difference between a "same-ol same-ol" reception and a spiritual one for your guests; especially if you have native elders there. Be sure that all food that is left is distributed out to the guests as they leave so there is nothing left to "spoil" the newly joined couple's life together. (remember that part of the reason why our people have survived so long, is becuase we are willing to freely share our belongings and food with those who need it.)
Also, here is a thought that is pretty important. Most Native ceremonies are kept sacred by NOT allowing photos to be taken during the vows. YOu may want to talk to an elder about this before you chose to have photos taken. Some elders can get VERY offended if there are any photographers snapping shots randomly. Many refuse to even have their own photos taken and it is considerd to be VERY DISRESPECTFUL to have them taken during a sacred ceremony. You might want to consider posing for a "mock" ceremony before or after the actual setting.
Tradiitonal wedding attire can be found by contacting tribal agencys, tribal schools (for cultural teachers)and elders who make dance regalia. A beaded buckskin gown can be so incredibly ornate that it is unimagineable, just remember that it can take YEARS for one hand -beaded gown to be completed. (ouch!) They are made with so much love and prayers that they are to be treated with reverence as well as appreciated for their beauty. YOu are not only wearing an elder's incredible talent, you are wearing their prayers and blessings! Please respect your regalia after the ceremony and keep it clean and safe!
These are just a few things you might want to consider, but most importantly.... A native ceremony is beautiful, spiritual, and is culurally revered. If you are among those of us who are native and are trying to bring back the old ways, a native ceremony is important not only for one of the most beautiful days of your life, but for the sacred continuation of your peoples tradiitons.
Good wishes to you!
