My mother is paying for my wedding reception and insists on my husband and i coming over the day after the reception to open our envelopes with her. She is insistant on knowing how much $ we receive. I live 4.5 hours away from her and the day after the reception, I just want to get home. Does the parent throwing the reception have the right to know how much $ we receive?
In my opinion, it is nobody's business but you & your husband's. It is very nice that she pays for it, but why do she has to know. But at the same time, I do not know what kind of ralationship you have with her, she may just want to help you.
Good Luck
No, she does not need to know. I'm sure she is just trying to figure out if you get back what she puts in, but I don't see why you would need to open them in front of her? I would ask if I were you.
Unfortunately, my mother opened ALL of my wedding cards and TOOK all of the money while we were on our honeymoon.
No - she does not have a right to know how much money you receive. You are adults and are under no obligation to tell your mother anything about your lives. The fact that she is paying for your reception does not entitle her to your private matters.
You probably feel bad about saying no to her right now because she's spending all the money. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to upset her right now. Tell her that, sure you'll come over and open the envelopes. Then just forget to do so, I mean geez, you just got married! You'll probably have better things to do than go on a 5 hour road trip to open envelopes in front of your mother. She may get mad then but who cares, she already paid for the wedding. HA!
Your Mom TOOK all your money? As in STOLE it? What the *&@$!!!???!!!???
I agree with the other posters. If your mom is going to pay for the wedding there shouldn't be any strings attached. It would be horrible for her to pull a bait and switch and have you open your cards the day after and ask you to pay her back. I wonder exactly what her intentions are? I'm glad I have to pay for my own wedding only because my parents won't have anything to hold over my head (not that they would but you never know...people get weird around weddings!). Best of luck to you and stand your ground! You could always conveniently forget the cards too!
Ann - Yep, basically! She paid for the wedding, so I guess she thought she was entitled to the money, even though she never asked for any money prior to that! I had a real hard time with thank you cards because I didn't know what people had given to us!
I stood up in a wedding where the bride's mother announced that she too expected to know who gave money and how much. She announced this in front of family/friends that came over to watch the couple open gifts. The bridal party nicknamed her Satan that weekend. She also expected the bridesmaids to bus the tables after the reception dinner because the hall didn't provide that service and she didn't want to hire anybody to do it. Naturally she told us this after dinner and before the dancing started. Those food-filled plates sat on those tables all night long.
Cheryl that is an awful story! I was wondering that too...how did she cash all those checks without your signatures? Are you still on speaking terms with her? I'd sue! Well, I can say that because my mom can't afford to pay for our wedding so I'd never have to worry about that. These are awful stories! How does a banquet hall NOT provide a busser and how cheap does someone have to be NOT to hire one?
I really never found out how she was able to cash the checks, I'm guessing she forged our names. We're on speaking terms now, but we really weren't at that time. I just let it go.
My advice would be have someone you trust, a BM or sibling, be in charge of grabbing the card box/basket/etc. Conveniently forget the cards in someone's car or at your house and then you can play dumb..."Oops! I totally forgot those...we were so busy loading up all the gifts and I'm sooo tired from yesterday!" Your mom's potential motives and Cheryl's mom's antics leave a horrid taste in my mouth. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that...
