I'm wracking my brain, trying to figure out how to word this on my invitations. This is a VERY small wedding - only 12 guests and they're all extended family. What is the best way to word this, where the guests will know they'll be paying for their own meal?
I dont think its rude at all for you to ask your guest to pay for there own dinner.I would let them know ahead of time though. We are doing the same and all of our friends and family are fine with the idea.
Why are you even calling them your "guests"? You don't INVITE people to your wedding as your GUESTS and then ask them to pay the dinner bill! It's horribly rude! There is absolutely no polite or tactful way to ask people to do this. Close family or not, it's not appropriate.
Why are you not paying the bill on your wedding dinner? This is especially hard to understand considering that there are only twelve people!
In my opinion, I would just pay for the 12 guests. It is only 12 people, and it is not proper to have a guest pay for their own meal after a wedding. If they are close extended family, maybe you can have a parent pass the word around that you would rather have money than a gift...so in a ways they are paying for their meal.
If a family member asked me to come to their wedding and pay for my meal I would not be happy about it, but if my mom said that a family member wanted/needed money I would graciously give them money for my meal and more than likely give them more money than the price of the meal.
[[[[The more formal approach is to include a written note in the invitations. While it is not necessary for this information to be printed on the actual invitation, it is acceptable for you to include a small insert in the invitation that lists the menu, with the prices.]]]]
AAAACCKKKKKKK!!!!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!!!!!
There is nothing "formal" about this "approach". This is not acceptable. It's in extremely poor taste.
I agree with becky and linda. Becky's idea is the best! plus, how expensive can it be to invite 12 people for dinner? choose a place that will not cost more than you can afford to pay. There are some really good all you can eat restaurants that are nice, that cost around 12-15 dollars a person, and it includes everything such as salad bars, meals, desert, drinks, and etc. Thats not bad for 12 people you would be paying 144 - 180 dollars.
Alot of these restaurants also have private rooms that you can reserve for free for you and your guests.
Than like becky said, spread the word (dont write it on your invititation) that you would rather have money instead of gifts. Most people will probably end up paying more than their meal.
I know weddings can be painfully expensive so I hear your cry for help. I agree that the best way to deal with your problem is to pay for the dinner yourself, however I'm sure that is not the answer you are looking for. If you still want to go with your idea of having the guests pay for themselves you should write something like along the lines of "Dinner following the ceremony is optional as guests will be purchasing meals for themselves” That is the best option I can think of. I’m thinking however that if you pay the bill will be a max of $200 ($15x12guest=$180total). Hope this helps a little. I also liked the note with the menu suggestion as well. Congrats and hope your big day is a success!
I have the agree with the majority in thinking that it is extremely rude and I don't think there is a politically correct way to approach that situation.
It seems silly for such a small group of only 12 people. The bill couldn't be all that expensive. I think if you are set on this choice that probably the best way is to make your reception "greenback" so you will recv $$ to help pay for the food and that way people don't know they're really paying for their own meal at your wedding reception. I think people would be turned off about paying for their own meal and would refrain from attending which wouldn't be the best situation for you; it is, after all, your wedding day.
You really cannot invite people to your reception - ask them to pay for themselves - and expect them to also bring a gift!?!? This is horrible. You maybe should ask your family to throw something for you, instead of you throwing your own party and asking them to pay. It really should not be done. Really.
I would not include anything about paying or menu prices with the invitation. That's just not right. I know wedding receptions are expensive and catering bills are high, but come on now, we're talking about twelve people in a restaurant for crying out loud. Do the right thing and pay for your guests dinners.
This is for only 12 people-if you can't afford to go to a resturant for that amount of people then you should maybe think about having a dinner at your home or a parents home. It wouldn't cost you that much to have a lassagna dinner with french bread and salad.
That is just an idea. I am having over 60 people at my wedding and we are paying for the dinner of filet minon and lobster tail. I am not rich by any means but I want to have something I like to eat. I have 12 months to plan this wedding and the whole thing will be paid for little by little.
My guest will not have to pay for anything. Unless they want to buy us a gift, which we are asking for no gifts or money. We just want to celebrate our love with our family and friends.
I also think it is extremely rude for you to invite people to come to your wedding, and them have them pay their own way....a wedding to me is an event where you invite loved ones to join in your celebration, and hve a party to show friends and family that you appreciate them. I feel asking htem to pay for their own way is really rude and I think I would beinsulted if I recieved an invitation that informed me that I had to pay for my meal....I wouldn't even have a supper, if you couldn't afford it....for 12 guests I would have them into someones house and prepare a meal for everyone......that is my opinion
Be nice, she was asking an opinion! You could put your opinions nicely, no need to be rude. This is a plce to ask advice, and not worry about being critisized.
I would be very happy to pay for my own meal! This is a very special occasion and if you chose me as one of 12 people to be there with you I would be honored. If there are only 12 people you must be very close to them. I would just let each one know, before the invitations are sent out. I would not be offended I am sure they all know your situation. I guess people don't realize, in some cases $200 is a lot of money. Best of luck and may you have a long and happy life together.
I think Mary said it right! I too, would have no problem paying for myself!!! I am a college student so for me $25 dollars is a lot of money! I am thankfully blessed with FHparents, who are helping us out. If we had to do it alone, it wouldnt happen!
I think the best way is to do the sample menu, but also tell them! ?I am sure they are close to you so they wont be iffended! good luck!
It's tacky no matter how you look at it. I'm sure your "guests" would never say to your face how offensive it is and they'll pay because they are nice, but it doesn't change the fact that it's not nice. You don't invite people to your party and ask them to pay for their food. I think it's just awful that you all seem to justify it by saying it's a wedding so it's okay. If anything the fact that it's a wedding makes it even more not okay.
Mary and nicole, i can see your side of it also now that i think about it. I guess each situation is different. I personally would be too embarrased to do it, but than i knew of a friend who had a potluck wedding; her family just did not have a lot of money, adn everyone seemed happy to help another friend tried to do the same, and everyone got mad because they knew she had money and she was just trying to be cheap.
Guess you just need to see how the people will react. Test the water out by having someone from your family check out how people will react to it. Whatever you decide, i hope you have a great time.
Hi, I have to admit that I do not think this is appropriate at all, and I am usually very liberal and laid back on this stuff. Only 12 people and you cannot buy dinner for them? Me and my boyfriend are on a shoe string budget and marrying out of state, we still intend on buying dinner for all that show (which hopefully won't be more than 20-25 people, also my parents are going to pay for some of the dinner so it's not that big of a deal. If I was asked to pay for my dinner, i probably would not go to it. Sorry.
