Me and my fiance' is having disagreements on who get to decide what. We are paying for everything ourself. He stated that I dominated everything he had nothing to say about the wedding. The arguement comes in, where he want to tell me how my ladies should wear this, and my flower girls should wear this. He had his choice of the reception hall, the song they walk in on and the food. I decided that since we was arguing about the cake, I will let him choose the cake. Another thing is that I already had a child and I want to wear ivory, he wants to wear white there is nothing pure about neither of us. He also want the flower girls in white if I'm wearing ivory. Maybe I should advise you of the colors: periwinkle, silver and ivory. Now he also want is guys in white he stated white brings out everything, the other concern is the mothers, my impression is that the parents suppose to be in the wedding party scheme. My mother is wearing silver, he wants his mother to wear a totally different color from the wedding scheme. What do you think? He feels that everything I say is wrong, I must tell you that I'm older than him too and he feels that plays a part of me dominating him but it is not that. I like nice things and I want a nice wedding with him throwing white in there we will be country. What is your opinion?
Well...I think the basic reason for all these disagreements have to do with control. It seems like BOTH of you, and I am only going by what you have stated, are trying to have control over the wedding by enforcing their wishes, views and decisions, without coming to a mutual and satisfying compromise. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t compromising and important and critical element to a long lasting relationship. If you and he have not found that happy median now; prior to the wedding…will you in the future? Are these minor and small arguments related to a bigger picture? Only you two know the answer.
My suggestion is that you get down to the root of the causes before you walk down the aisle....in whatever color you choose...because these issues will surface again in the NEAR future, and they will be related to important LIFE-CHANGING issues!
